NO CLASSES TODAY!!!! Yay, I say... I had to leave Tuesdays open on my schedule for a job I'll be starting in a couple of weeks. No meetings either... just unpacking, decorating, and relaxation (I hope). There is the matter of this sore throat I now have though, so there could be a change of plans. We'll see.

I'm back, and I'm about to go register. It's 8 am, on a Monday, and Nick doesn't register until 6:30 pm. Does anyone else see a discrepancy here? Sense??? There is none. I guess I'll just go drag myself over there now. At least I'll get a new parking sticker, for the low low price of FIFTY DOLLARS. Gee, as if college wasn't expensive enough. I have to convince them to let me register first, since I have a deficit on my account. Absolutely lovely.

I'm not very moved in yet either. Nick's sick, and I feel my throat beginning to get sore. Monday, here I come...

It's my last day of work, and I'm taking a half day off. I really don't want to be here anymore, and I'm rushing to get back to school, but I'm very anxious about it too. This is my senior year, meaning three years of college have already passed me by. That fact alone is enough to scare me senseless. I'm afraid this year will pass just as quickly. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle all that I have taken on class-wise and work-wise. I'm afraid I won't be able to change this schedule of mine, and that if I do, it will be worse than before. I'm truly afraid of a rift forming between me and Nick, since I've joined Alpha Gamma Delta and Mortar Board in addition to my other organizations and labs and service projects, etc, while he has become a CA with all that entails. While I'll be graduating this year, he won't, because his degree usually takes longer to complete. I fear things too far in advance, already terrified about what might happen to us while we're apart when I go away to grad school. Uncertainties and senarios swirl through my head. I haven't even been able to bring myself to pack things and be realistic about the fact that I'll be at school in two days. Too much to handle all at once, too many feelings and responsibilities to take on, my mind needs a rest. My life has no plan, no purpose after getting through college and getting to grad school. I feel like I need an emergency brake; I'm careening off at high speed and I can no longer see the road...

Nick has gone back to school for CA training. This leaves me with just over a week to finish up everything before I go back too. I hope I get balanced out a little once I'm back there and not in this screwy place. It's really hard to be home this long when you're not used to it. The computer we were building for my mom still isn't working. Don't do business with TigerDirect if you can at all help it. They're customer support and troubleshooting leaves much to be desired. Now we're stuck with hundreds of dollars worth of fried computer components that we just have to keep paying to ship back until they quit replacing them. My mom is upset, and so are Nick and I. We couldn't return anything because our 30 return period expired while we were waiting for an out of stock processor. Sound fishy? Yeah, it does to me too.... *bitterness*

Well, I've been playing video games and searching/buying on ebay again. It's hard to believe how addictive those two things can be. Nothing is unreasonable when I'm shopping online auctions. At least I haven't spent too much yet. I do have books to buy, you know. And dues to pay, for several organizations, as well as fees, and... maybe I should stop buying now. Yeah, that might be a good idea...

Tuesday night I saw Lifehouse at the WV State Fair. That was a good concert, but the crowd sucked. There was hardly anyone there, just rows and rows of completely empty seats. I know people must like this band, I mean, they are really good. I felt so bad for them. A friend told me they were probably excited to be there, as they had been playing amusement parks like King's Island lately. So very sad. Anyway, I looked around several times and all i could see was a sea of stony faces, looking ticked off that they weren't playing "Hanging By A Moment". Come on, people, don't buy tickets if you only know the one song and aren't willing to learn any new ones. I also saw several 12 to 17 year old girls dressed as what Nick would call "prostitots" jumping seats to get closer and take pictures. One even did "spirit fingers" every few minutes, as if her cheering alone was keeping that band playing. She was bragging that she had gotten to hug the drummer and he had given her her tickets for free. I'm not sure I believe that, but I guess guys do weird things when they're horny. She nearly trampled people to try and run backstage when the show was over. When they finally did play "Hanging By A Moment", as an encore, the crowd came alive, pulsing, singing along with energy. I was truly frightened of these previously comatose but now euphoric fans. This is why state fair concerts are risky. I have also decided that I was never, not ever, a typical teenage girl. I think I am lucky not to have been one...

This was one of the most traumatic/emotional mornings of my life. Yesterday, when my mom got up to do whatever she does before everyone else gets up (make coffee and let the dogs out I guess), she heard loud crying meows. My beagle George was agitated and wanted to find this cat, so she got him a collar (he doesn't usually wear one due to a skin condition) and put him on a chain. She then looked around, finally spotting a tiny black and brown furball on the deck, drinking water under a plant and crying. She moved it unceremoniously out to the end of the front yard, so, she tells me, the dog wouldn't eat it. I went looking for it, and found it huddled in some mulch, terribly cold and now wet from dew (thanks mom). The tiny guy was so sad looking, with mucous streams coming from both eyes. Nick and I tried to clean him up, got him some warm towels, kitten food, and water. We bathed him, petted him, tried to take off some of the million fleas on his tiny body. This morning, he was so weak he couldn't move, and could barely meow to let me know where he was. I took him to a vet, but they couldn't help him. He was too anemic from blood loss and too tiny to fight. The fleas had nearly drained the little guy, and they had to put him to sleep. My eyes burn from the crying. God bless you little one.

I think that Murphy's Law should be amended to include specific clauses about haircuts and mothers. Amendment one: no wonderful cut and style you get at a salon will be able to be duplicated at home. Ever. Amendment two: anything you say to your mother can and will be misconstrued and used against you later.

I just can't seem to get both sides of my hair to curl under OR flip out at the same time. The left side and back curl under naturally, while the right side defiantly flips out. Styling products seem like they might work, then as soon as I leave my house, FLIP! and everything is back where it wants to be. Nick says it's still cute, so I guess I shouldn't dwell on it too long, but GGRRRR! It's just frustrating....

If I respond to anything my mother says lately, it's taken as rude/negative/blaming comment. If I'm having a bad day, I'm blaming it on her, even if I don't tell her apparently. Tell her about something wrong? Blaming her. Complain about unchangable events? Yup, I'm blaming her again. This is why I was such a reserved and non-confiding child. I don't ever want to tell anyone something about my self. No crushes, no so-and-so did this to upset me, just stoic brick wall listening. Man, I'm screwed up.

And now a hippy-like sermon:
Buy alternative menstrual products! Better for you and the environment, plus you save money! I love mine... inquire for details.
The Keeper
Eco-Logique
Eden Essentials

I felt compelled to lead you all out of the horror of buying tampons and pads for the rest of your lives. If you use any of these products or know anyone that does, tell me what you think. I haven't tried them all yet.

AAAHHHH! Home again. The trip home was long, hot, and full of "when are we going to stop to eat?" and "how many hours until we get there?" Seven year olds can't handle being confined that long I guess. We brought the 3 youngest of Nick's siblings (out of 5 total including him) to visit the grandparents for the week. They're actually not too bad on long trips. While in Plainfield, I bought a the video game Pharaoh, which I am now hopelessly addicted to. What?!? you ask? Teresa? Playing a video game? You'd better believe it: this one's about ancient Egypt, right up my alley. If you don't mind, I think I'll search Ebay for playstations and AGD paraphenelia and then build some pyramids.